The night before?

A month after I found out I had breast cancer I was going into my first ever surgery. I can’t lie I was so nervous. Not only was I scared of what surgery entailed. What if it went wrong and I died.

Surgery in my mind sounded like such a major thing. I was scared to know exactly how much of my boob they would take off. It’s strange as I am writing this blog a year after the events happened and my views on life have changed so much since but I know at that time losing part of my breast was a major blow. My parents were down and I was being positive I went to bed and had a look at my boob for one last time my ‘before cancer boob’

Surgery day


It was an early start. I needed to be at the hospital at 7.30am. I was pleased it was going to be early. We picked Kevin up on the way. Getting to the waiting room everyone looked miserable, it was a depressing room. It wasn’t long until I was called in, apparently my family couldn’t come and sit and wait with me. I was so nervous I was sweating like crazy. I hugged Mum, Dad and Kevin they all looked as nervous as me and off i went into the end cubicle to sit behind the curtain, I do a urine sample and put my white surgery socks on and I wait for the surgeon. Mr Price was doing todays operation. He goes to draw on my right boob I said it’s the left one!!!!! I laughed at how easy mistakes are made. He drew a massive arrow to point to my left one! Phew hope that was going to work, nothing I could do when I was sleeping.

They were operating to take out my cancerous lump as well as a few lymph nodes which they would then send to the lab to check if the cancer had spread. I was first in so very pleased about that. In went the cannula and I was being wheeled into the surgery room. I had heard that angels often hung around in operating theaters so I was smiling at them as I knew they would be there. The operating theatre was just like on E.R pity there was no George Clooney. There were a lot of people and they kept asking my name and date of birth so many times. You get used to this when you have chemo! They were going to put the solution into my veins to knock me out I needed to breath as they put the air over my nose. One, two…. I managed to get to five.

Waking up


What seemed like a second later I was awake and in a recovery room. Already they were giving me painkillers and asking me, yet again, what my name was. I was wheeled back to the first room and placed behind the curtain. The surgery department is so shabby and dirty it really needs a make over. They let my Mum come in, it was so nice to see her. I look down at my boob and checked to see that they had operated on the correct one! Thank goodness. Quite soon I feel like I am going to be sick so the nurse rushes me a sickness drug. The start of me turning into the cancer junky! After a few hours I am allowed to go home. I am so shaky on my feet. I come out and the sun is shining — beautiful.